Artifacts of the Analog Age: NES 2 System

Posted on by benjamin

This is Analog Agent Benjamin coming at you this week with my first ever post!

Do you remember when the Super Nintendo & Sega Genesis (also known as the Mega Drive) game systems came out and everyone went from 8-bit games up to 16-bit games? Well at this time, Nintendo was losing sales on their NES games so they decided to remake the NES for the 90’s.

Even though this new version of the NES sold for $49.99 and fixed a lot of the issues with the old NES, (like the blinking screen if the system got dust in it, or that the game tray would wear out and would not go all the way down) no one was making anymore 8-Bit games for the NES and everyone had already moved onto the Super Nintendo systems. Too bad too, had I know all this info at the time, I would have ask for one as a kid and saved about $100.00 to get my old NES fixed.

So, did anyone here get the NES 2, or did you already move onto the Super Nintendo when it came out? Did you find the commercial for it as annoying as I did?

Artifacts of the Analog Age: Army Ants

Posted on by gabe

I’m sure a lot of you do not remember these toys. My brother and I were the only ones we knew that had these little guys.

Released in 1987, they were just little hard plastic bodies with squishy little abdomens. They were separated into 2 armies, blue and orange (coincidentally, I had the orange). They had little interchangeable guns, walkie talkies and other weapons.

They were the kind of toy that you would watch the commercial and be so excited to get 100 of them. When you go to the store and your Mom says you can only get a 3 pack, it kinda ruins all the fun…

Did you have any Army Ants?

Artifacts of the Analog Age: Reebok Pumps

Posted on by gabe

Pump pump pump pump it up!

These shoes are ridiculous, ok, so I can see Nike Air, but an actual pump? Is that really necessary? Maybe if someone pumps it up too much their foot will turn blue and fall off? I guess that’s what you get if you have the money to afford these shoes.

This is one of those artifacts that I hope stay buried. Unfortunately, they did have a small resurgence like 4 years ago. I bet someone is sitting in a boardroom right now pitching great new slogans for their relaunch…

“Pump it up”
“The Pump is all you need”
“Be a Pump-Daddy”
“Pump it til it hurts”

I’m sure you could come up with some better ones as well…

Artifacts of the Analog Age: Boglins

Posted on by gabe

These were amazing puppets. My brother and I got them for Easter one year. I know, Easter? They were all rubbery and weird looking. They had really cool names like Dwork, Drool, Vlob, Squidge, Shlump, Shlurp, Sponk, Squawk, Squeel, Plunk, and Flurp. They also had movable glow-in-the-dark eyes, and could even blink!

They were expanded into a ton a variations: Small Boglins, Soggy Boglins, Baby Boglins, Halloween Boglins, Acrobat Boglins, Bash ’em Boglins, Action Boglins, Baby Squirt Boglins, Hairy Boglins, Talking Boglins, Glow Boglins, Batty Boglins, and even Ric Flair Boglins.

I think we liked them so much because they were so monstrously gross. They were like little old wrinkly men with missing teeth, strange sores and missing legs. Their faces, tails, and arms were all floppy and stretchy. They had a very distinct smell too. I think it might have been the rubber they were made out of because we still have ours, but they have completely deteriorated.

Did you ever know anyone who had Boglins? Why don’t they make cool puppets anymore? Do you think Boglins are really from a bog?

Artifacts of the Analog Age: Burnin’ Key Cars

Posted on by gabe

Burnin’ Key Cars: cars with the key to speed–FAST!

Man, you see that awesome stunt at the end?! I wonder how many times they had to do that to get on video? You know they say “fast” 6 times in 30 seconds?

My brother and I loved these things. Released in the early 80’s these were simple matchbook cars with a spring in them. It was really hard to put them on the key, but once you did, these things did really fly across the floor. They also flew through the air, which lead to plenty of painful bruises!

Did you have these things when you were a kid?

Artifacts of the Analog Age: Koosh Ball

Posted on by gabe

Yes the Kooshball. It is rubber ball made out of rubber strings introduced in 1988. It was named after the name that the ball makes when it lands–“koooosh”.

Personally, I never understood the draw of this thing. It’s kinda like a hairy rubber ball that gets really dirty, the strings get torn off and you find them laying all over the place.

I guess that’s fine, but when you start putting arms and faces on them, that’s when it gets weird.

Artifacts of the Analog Age: Jams

Posted on by gabe

Jams were a fashion status symbol. They were basically just surfer shorts made out of the most garish pattern and colored fabric they could find. They were a part of a resurgence of surfer style clothing of the eighties along with clam diggers.

I never had a official pair of jams, just plain old super garish shorts.

Here’s a link to one of the best and probably only comics done about Jams. It is by a great cartoonist who goes by the name Dharbin.

(Make sure you click on the :next” link a the bottom of the pages to read the whole story)

Enjoy!

Artifacts of the Analog Age: In Search Of…

Posted on by gabe

In Search Of was an hour long documentary TV series that aired from 1976 to 1982. The show was hosted by the great Leonard Nimoy and conducted investigations into controversial and strange phenomenon. This show scared the crap out of me.

Going back and watching it now, I can tell why, the subject manner, the overall dark tone, Leonard Nimoy’s voice, and the music are just creepy. Maybe the makers didn’t set out to scare the crap out of their viewers, but man did they succeed on many an occasion.

Here’s the one episode that is just super super creepy. It is all about the Amityville Horror that aired in 1976.

Please, bookmark this or save the link, wait until dark, make time to curl up in bed and watch this alone, you won’t regret it!

(it’s a little dark in the beginning, but it get’s brighter)

Artifacts of the Analog Age: Encyclopedias

Posted on by gabe

Yep, I’m sorry to report that even the great Encyclopedia has fallen into the past and into absolution. When was the last time you even picked up one of these?

I remember when having to do a report or a presentation on anything, these were the only way to do research. You would have to grab like 3 different ones, lug them to a table, crack them open to reveal that distinct scent of knowledge.  The pages would be thin, slick and shiny and very often stick together.

The one cool thing I miss is just randomly taking one letter, page through it and find some of the weirdest stuff. One thing I don’t miss is how they were the only definitive source of information. The internet really gives you almost every angle of a topic, not just the author’s of the book.

What are your Encyclopedic memories? Did you like using them? Do you remember this dork?

Artifacts of the Analog Age: Kronoform

Posted on by gabe

Kronoform was the name of those infamous robot watches.

As soon as a kid from school got one of these, everybody wanted one! I mean how much better can a digital watch get? By transforming into a robot that’s how! You could always go and get a fancy calculator watch if you wanted to live in the past and be lame. Slap the future on your wrist brother and join the revolution!

When are they going to have an updated version of this? I want a watch that can detach, transform, tell me the time, and then go to work all day while I stay home and play video games and read comics!

Did you ever see one of these or know anyone that had one? Did you know boxed versions of these go for more than 300 bucks on Ebay?