Pump pump pump pump it up!

These shoes are ridiculous, ok, so I can see Nike Air, but an actual pump? Is that really necessary? Maybe if someone pumps it up too much their foot will turn blue and fall off? I guess that’s what you get if you have the money to afford these shoes.

This is one of those artifacts that I hope stay buried. Unfortunately, they did have a small resurgence like 4 years ago. I bet someone is sitting in a boardroom right now pitching great new slogans for their relaunch…

“Pump it up”
“The Pump is all you need”
“Be a Pump-Daddy”
“Pump it til it hurts”

I’m sure you could come up with some better ones as well…

8 thoughts on “Artifacts of the Analog Age: Reebok Pumps

  1. Benjamin says:

    I remember that my Mom got me a pair of knock-off style Pumps as a kid, I thought they were a real thing and that they would make me run faster and jump higher, but they did not. The only thing the pump did was make the shoes tighter and that was it.

    1. gabe says:

      Ha! You can just tighten the laces right?

  2. Jeremy Kuehnau says:

    Well according to what I read, the whole idea of the pumps were to give you a better fit in the shoe. Apperenly Nike released a style of pumps in the early 90’s that “gave the wearer a better fit about the ankle.”

    1. gabe says:

      Boy you think after inventing air, they might be better at shoe technology.

      1. Chris Sobieniak says:

        This was the era when someone thought we needed to have the most uncomfortable shoes ever devised. It’s hard looking back and without thinking of how bad my feet are becoming as an adult!

  3. fluffy says:

    I remember these, and I remember that the first thing most kids did after they conned their parents into buying their overpriced shoes was to destroy the pump mechanism anyway.

    I’ve always wondered about a similar mechanism for breast implants.

  4. Matthew Koh says:

    Technotronic anyone?

    1. gabe says:

      “…gonna make you sweat ’til ya bleed…”

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